Saturday, 26 March 2011

Seven Words I hate to hear concerning my condition....

I’ve suffered from mental illness most of my life (please hold the jokes!). That’s right, I am clinically crazy.  There are a lot of people out there right now going, “I KNEW IT!! I knew she was actually crazy”. Most people close to me know the struggles I have been thru, especially since the birth of my first son.  Postpartum depression is no laughing matter.  No, really!!!!  I can safely say I didn’t enjoy any of it and being crazy isn’t nearly as much fun as you’d think it would be. 
I’ve decided there is one thing I absolutely hate about being crazy more than anything else. No, it’s not the insomnia, the nausea, the weight gain,  the constant anxiety and fear. It’s not taking drugs every day or being a guinea pig for the psychiatric profession. It’s not the crying, screaming, freaking out. It’s not the doctors visits or my laminated membership to the RO. It’s not even the worry about long sleeved sweaters with buckles!  It’s none of these things. It’s when someone says seven simple words that my whole body tenses. My mind screams and my fists clench. I want to pound my head against a wall and punch a kitten. The seven words?  “I know exactly what you’re going thru”.
 Oh sure, maybe you know someone with depression. Or maybe you’ve suffered with depression yourself. Hell, maybe you’re crazy right now and you’re so medicated you’ve forgotten what day it is and all you wanna do is nap!  All these are possible. But you have no idea what I’m going thru. Everyone suffers with mental illness differently and my crazy ain’t nothing like your crazy (yes, Mom. I know ain’t is the Dutch word for duck).
I like to have a sense of humour about my condition. I suffer from (are you sitting down) treatment resistant major depressive disorder, mild obsessive compulsive disorder and mild panic/anxiety disorder.  Did you get that? That means that I am mostly crazy every single day and there is very little that can be done about it. And even if you could figure out a cure, it would only last a month or two and then I’d go back to being crazier than Beans’ aunts’ dog, Mikey . And that dog was crazy with a capital K.  But since I’m stuck with this crap, I might as well enjoy it. I might as well get a laugh out of it now and then.
I also like to help other people that suffer from this crap. It isn’t always easy being an advocate for Mental Illness when you’re as crazy as I am. Sometimes I just don’t give a crap what others are going thru. But I like to help when I can.  There’s another person out there who likes to help whenever he can. If you haven’t checked out anything to do with the Royal Ottawa lately, how about checking out what Daniel Alfredsson has been doing lately for them. Go to and have a look. Make a donation or see how you can help fight the good fight against mental illness! Like cancer, mental illness is everywhere and chances are you know someone that has suffered or is suffering with mental illness. Being crazy isn’t all its cracked up to be, so why not see if you can help.
Just don’t tell me you know EXACTLY what I’m going thru.  I’m crazy, don’t you know.

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