Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Nothing Changes

Hello, my little friends. Oh, I know how long it has been. Trust me, I know!!!!  I have been away because I thought you might be bored with my bitching. Are you bored! I know I am tired of listening to myself complain!

Things are the same, yet different.  I am taking different meds, yet the result is exactly the same. I feel exactly the same. SHIT. That's is what I say!! Shit is how I feel!!

Today I find myself saddend by the most ridiculous thing. Christmas is driving me mad. The kids are on holidays and I am at home alone with them for a  week....Yikes!!! I am watching the World Junior Hockey Championship.   Canada vs. the Cze's. It's  a great game! But it is reminding me of an incident. Years ago, maybe ten. I was attending the prospects camp game for the Sens. I met a man named Martin Havlat. Got my picture taken with him. Next to him was a man named Karel Rachunek. Cute!!! He signed my playoff sheet; signed it with a heart. He was adorable!!!!!!! In 2011, Karel Rachunel would die in a horrible plane crash.  And now I can't help but think of him, how young he was, how he didn't deserve to die so young. Isn't that a silly thing to be thinking 'bout this time of year!!

Oh man! Life is the same shit, different pile! I am on different meds but nothing has changed. I'm still counting meds and thinking about electronics in the bathtub. Oh boy!

Miss me, have you?


  1. Written on Christmas Eve, 1513

    I salute you. I am your friend, and my love for you goes deep.
    There is nothing I can give you which you have not. But there is much,
    very much, that, while I cannot give it, you can take. No heaven can
    come to us unless our hearts find rest in it today. Take heaven!
    No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present little instant.
    Take peace! The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, yet within
    our reach, is joy. There is radiance and glory in darkness, could we but see.
    And to see, we have only to look. I beseech you to look!

    Life is so generous a giver. But we, judging its gifts by their covering,
    cast them away as ugly or heavy or hard. Remove the covering, and you
    will find beneath it a living splendor, woven of love by wisdom, with power.
    Welcome it, grasp it, and you touch the angel's hand that brings it to you.
    Everything we call a trial, a sorrow or a duty, believe me, that angel's hand is there.
    The gift is there and the wonder of an overshadowing presence. Your joys, too,
    be not content with them as joys. They, too, conceal diviner gifts.

    Life is so full of meaning and purpose, so full of beauty beneath its covering,
    that you will find earth but cloaks your heaven. Courage then to claim it; that is all!
    But courage you have, and the knowledge that we are pilgrims together,
    wending through unknown country home.

    And so, at this time, I greet you, not quite as the world sends greetings,
    but with profound esteem and with the prayer that for you, now and
    forever, the day breaks and shadows flee away.

    ~ Fra Giovanni

  2. Found you in a old blog hop. followed you please follow me back.

  3. Hello dear ^^ your blog is so pretty! let's follow each other, would be fun :)what do u say?:X

  4. Keep blogging, woman! It has done wonders for me... I am your newest follower from MBC, and hope you will visit my blog, enjoy the colorful things I make, and follow me, too!