Sunday, 4 September 2011

Well, Hello!!

Oh Boy, oh boy! You would not believe the week I have had!! I don't even know where to begin...

I have come to the conclusion that mental illness sucks the big one, yes. BUT, the worst part isn't the diagnosis or the's the freakin' drugs!! They're trying to kill me, I swear it!

I came off Cymbalta. It took two weeks. I felt pretty spectacular and was damn proud of myself. When I went back to see the doc after two weeks, he said he was quite impressed at my progress. It isn't easy coming off an anti-depressant, you see. And to come off one without incident is pretty impressive.  I am the Woman!!!

Or so I thought.

The doc gave me a prescription for my brand spanking new anti depressant that day. I was to start it the next day and I was stoked!  This one is going to be the one!! The one that makes me feel all better! I'm sure of it!!

Then I spent three days in HELL!!! Hell, I tell ya!!!!  I was finally off Cymbalta and that was great. But I was completely unprepared for the withdrawal effects. Oh my, oh my! I figured the withdrawal effects would hit me right away but no. They bated their time and waited til I was feeling all smug about myself.  The withdrawal effects knocked me on my ass and left me incapacitated for three days.  Dizzy so bad I could barely stand. Headaches so severe I could hardly see straight. And oh the vomiting. The constant nausea and barfing my brains out. What a mess I was! 

This house was a shambles.  God love my boys, but they're 3 and 5 and really know how to run a muck, you know what I'm saying? And when Mommy doesn't feel good, they know it. Sure, they were good boys and stayed mostly outta my way. My inlaws stayed home with me and helped me take care of the boys while I was so sick.  I slept for three days straight. I woke only to eat dry toast and puke. Bleck!  I definitely got a lot of kisses from my little men. But this house was a mess! You can really tell when Mommy isn't feeling so hot because the house just gets messier and messier. Day by day I could see the mess piling up.

Today, finally, I have started to come out the other side of this madness.  I have finally been able to hold down a meal. I finally started taking my new medication today. I hadn't felt well enough to even try before now. And today this Momma went all mad up in this house!!  My inlaws took the boys on a little road trip today and my hubby is working. I had the house all to myself. I still feel a little dizzy but I just couldn't handle the mess anymore!!!  So I wobbled my sorry ass around the house, doing little bit by little bit. I had to take constant breaks. The more dizzy I get, the more my head hurts, the more nausea I feel. So I keep taking breaks.  But it's amazing what you can get done with a little gumption!!

So, that's my story.  Sorry I was gone for so long!!

P.S.  I don't know if it's the lack of drugs or what, but I watched Dogma today and thought it was the funniest freakin' movie I have ever seen!!! My emotional tuning fork has been set to uber-sensitive lately so everything makes me cry or laugh hysterically!  But dang, that movie is funny!!

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