Night times are the worst....

I'm currently weaning off Cymbalta. I was taking 120mgs every morning and as of this morning, I am now taking 30mgs.  You wanna know the funniest thing? I didn't do any research about possible side effects of weaning until just now. Mostly I didn't want to know what was coming. When I spoke to the doc about weaning, he said mostly it would be fine. He said I might experience a few minor side effects, but as long as I came off slowly, I should be fine.  So I took 60mgs for a week and now have cut it in half again and will stay here for a full week.

What am I feeling so far? Nausea. A whole lot of nausea. I had no idea what a "brain zap" was until today. It's like a headache that hits you like lightening and then disappears.  Over and over and over again.  And then the nausea again! Ugh!! And some serious GI issues that you probably don't want to hear about.  And then some more nausea. 

My two boys were fairly good to me today. I took them to the park for a few hours so they'd be good and tired at bedtime.  It worked fairly well.  One of the side effects right now that drives me a little bananas is this constant feeling of nervousness.  But it's only bad at night. During the day I seem alright. But at night, ooooh boy!  The boys freak me out a bit when they try and climb all over me.  It's like I'm freaking out but I don't know why.  Does that make any sense?

I told you I was gonna come in here and rant a little bit while I was doing this weaning thing! Who knew there would be weaning in my life after my babies!!!  But here I am....weaning!!

Did I mention the nausea?

The Side Effects Are What?

I know I have gone on this rant before but I can't help but revisit it.  Here's why.

This week my psychiatrist has decided it's time to try something new for my Major Depressive Disorder. I've been taking Cymbalta for quite awhile now. Cymbalta is a type of antidepressant called a  serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor.  The doc thinks this type of drug is no longer doing what it should so it's time to start something else. His suggestion is Manerix, a monoamine oxidase inhibitor. I'm usually game for trying something new. I mean, I've tried two dozen different types of medications by now, what's one more, right. But damn!   Check this list out first

     •abdominal or stomach pain or discomfort
     •constipation

     •diarrhea
     •dizziness
     •dryness of mouth
     •increased or decreased appetite
     •nausea
     •nightmares

     •trembling or shaking of arms or legs

     •trouble sleeping
     •vomiting

This list of possible side effects is actually pretty tame. All of the above can be found on almost any anti-depressant.  That's not what scares me about the new drug I'm 'about' to take.  Check the list out of possible interactions...

•alcohol (DAMN!)

•amphetamines (e.g., dextroamphetamine) •anesthetics (e.g., halothane) •antipsychotic medications (e.g., haloperidol, quetiapine, risperidone) •appetite suppressants (e.g., sibutramine, mazindol) •atomoxetine
•bupropion •buspirone •carbamazepine •cimetidine •cyclobenzaprine
•decongestants (e.g., phenylephrine, oxymetazoline, pseudoephedrine, tetrahydrazoline, xylometazoline)
•desvenlafaxine •dextromethorphan •entacapone •fluconazole •gemfibrozil •glaucoma medications (e.g., apraclonidine, brimonidine) •isoniazid •levodopa •linezolid •meperidine •methadone •methyldopa •mirtazapine •modafinil •narcotic medications (e.g., fentanyl, morphine, codeine) •other MAO inhibitors (e.g., phenelzine, tranylcypromine)
•S-adenosylmethionine (SAMe) supplements •SSRI antidepressants (e.g., citalopram, duloxetine, fluoxetine, paroxetine, sertraline) •St. Johns wort •sympathomimetic medications (e.g., epinephrine, norepinephrine) •tapentadol •tetrabenazine
•thioridazine •ticlopidine •tramadol •tricyclic antidepressants (e.g., amitriptyline, clomipramine, desipramine)
•"triptan" migraine medications (e.g., rizatriptan, sumatriptan) •tryptophan •venlafaxine

Basically what the list says is don't take anything.....ever.....without asking someone first if it's ok.  And no more drinking?? Did I mention Damn??  I guess sacrifices must be made to get better but I'm a little nervous about "the List".  I've never had to worry about so much before with any medication I've taken.  I guess this one will be interesting.

Now for the worst part about switching medications. Cymbalta and Manerix cannot be in my blood system at the same time. This means I must come off Cymbalta completely before switching to Manerix. I am, of course, weaning myself of Cymbalta over the next two weeks which, in and of itself should be interesting. But this means I will be without medication for a little while.  Fascinating stuff. The last time I weaned off a medication, I went a little CRAZY!!  Ok, crazy doesn't even begin to describe the madness that ensued! 

Did I mention that my daycare lady quit and that we have still be unable to find a suitable replacement? Double DAMN!!  I think I might lose my mind over the next three weeks!

So, if I'm in here every now and then complaining and whining and maybe freaking out a little bit, you'll know why!!!

Sunday Stealing

It's Sunday Stealing time so I'm stealing this from

What's the longest shift that you worked at a job? I've worked a few 13 hour shifts at my current job, but it's been awhile.  Of course, I haven't been at work in so long, I've forgotten what it's like to work until you're exhausted.

What was the last concert that you attended?  I can't even remember, that's how long it has been.  Probably a Bluesfest concert of some sort. I think I saw Sum 41 last? Boy, that woulda been like 10 years ago!

What's the last DVD (or Blu Ray, of course) movie that you watched? Last night we watched 'Wanted' on BluRay.  I wanted to watch a movie with James McAvoy in it to see if he always had an accent in his films or not.  He does not!

 

How did you like the film?  It was entertaining. I found parts of it hilarious, actually. I love James' character Wesley. He's so quiet and unassuming in the beginning and by the end, he is ripped and kicking ass. Awesome.

 

What comedian do you love?.  We just did a fundraiser at Absolute Comedy and I have to say that Trent McClellan is hilarious!!!  I was in tears for most of his show. If you get a chance to check him out, do so!

Do you ever sleep in the nude? Almost never. The only time I wake up nude are the nights I over-drink and Kirk "puts me to bed". That's cuz he's a boy.  Thank goodness it doesn't happen often because I hate sleeping nude!

Have you ever had a long distance relationship? Yes.  I dated  a boy who lived in Calgary which is two time zones away from here.  It only lasted about six months before he moved back to Ottawa.

What do you think of astrology?   I have "Gemini" tattooed in Chinese on my back.  I don't know much about astrology but I do know that I am ALL Gemini.

What's you're favorite lyric quote from a song?  "I'm never alone. I'm alone all the time" Glycerine by Bush

Tell us something random about yourself.  I recently discovered the Tassimo. Before it, I almost never drank hot liquids of any kind. Now I have a cappaccino or latte every day.

Have ever attended a theme party? If yes, do tell.  I attended a Murder Mystery party once where we were supposed to dress up. It was fun because I was the murderer!  I can't remember if anyone guess it was me or not.

What is your favorite thing about winter? I love it when the snow falls. Here in Ottawa we can get some pretty cold days, but when it snows it means it's not that cold and the effect is just beautiful!

What was the name of your first pet?  I don't actually remember having a pet that was all mine as a child. When I was in University a boy I was dating gave me a kitten and I named her Marbles. She's almost 15 years old now and this fat, ol' thing. I love her to pieces!

What have you done so far this weekend? On Saturday I took the boys to visit Daddy at work. Staples was having a fundraising event using a Dunk Tank. Both boys got to dunk Daddy and they thought it was awesome! I had fun doing it, too, I must say! Then today we took the boys to the water park. In the afternoon, my neice came over and we spent the rest of the day playing with her. Busy, busy, busy with 3 kids running around!

 

Has your humor ever been called “sick”?  Not that I know of.  I'm a bit quirky, but not really sick minded.

If you could have one thing, what would it be?  Right this second? I would love a good movie to watch!  LOL.  Overall, if there is one thing I could have it would be for neither of my kids to ever get seriously ill. I can live with mild fevers and runny noses. I just don't know how well I would deal with something severe. I would be a blubbery mess!

Day 10 Ten Secrets!

Here we are, day 10. We have finally reached the end! This challenge was easy, I can't wait to move on to the next one!!  Here are ten little secrets about me...

1. Although I haven't watched a single episode, I am currently watching "So You Think You Can Dance". My father in law is making me watch it. I'm not a fan. In fact, I usually hate most tv that he watches.

2. I only read the "Coles Notes" for Moby Dick and Paradise Lost in University. Still managed to get a B!

3. I'm a Twilight fan! I've read all the books and been to the midnight showing for the last two films. I had never heard of the books until the first movie came out on DVD. Watched it and fell madly in love!  Don't ask me which because I can't choose between Edward or Jacob! They're both hot!

5. When I was in my 20's, I swore I would never have kids...EVER! I thought I was too selfish to have them.

4.  My middle name is Ann-Marie. Yes, is it hyphenated.  I'm not embarrassed about my middle name and I think it's weird when people won't tell me what their middle name is. It's not your fault!

6.  I tried to go back to work after being on disability for a year. It didn't go well. I am filled with tremendous guilt about it.

7.  I didn't own a car until I was 30. It is only because of my husband that I got my first car. Without him I'd still be taking the bus!

8.  I have a tail. No, I don't want to talk about it :(

9. I don't like Glee. Sorry. In fact, I hate musicals period.

10.  I currently weigh more than I did when I was pregnant. Now that's sad! 

Well, that's it for this challenge!  Hope you had a nice time reading cuz I had time writing it!

Day 9 Nine Loves

Day 9 is upon us! And I don't have much time to finish this post before I head out for dinner with my good friend Shelley!  So here goes...

1. I love my first born. He's funny and energetic. He's got adorable blue eyes and loves to be smothered in kisses. He's independent and yet loves to sit with him momma! He's my "big guy"!

2. I love my youngest. He's and adorable little bundle of energy! He's feisty and hilarious. He's uber-cute and I love to take pictures of him sleeping!!

3. I love my husband. He's supportive to a fault. He puts up with my shit with not much complaint. He's a great Dad and a great husband. He's one of those rare guys that every woman wants but rarely finds!

4. I love Coach purses!! I'm a purse snob! I don't own one but I swear I will have one before I turn 40!

5. I love walking in the woods! I love spending time in nature with my kids. I love their curiosity about the things around them and I love teaching them about the different animals and plants. I love feeding the birds with them!

6. I love the city I live it. Barrhaven is beautiful. There are tons of things to do, tons of paths to walk on, and tons of friendly people to hang out with. I love my neighbours!  All of them! Some of them cook for me, one of them introduced me to Pampered Chef and several of them have the most adorable little babies!! It's a perfect place to live.

7. I love to eat out at restaurants. I hate cooking for myself so it as a real treat when I get to go out with a friend and have dinner. I can't wait for Shelley to call so we can go somewhere; anywhere! Anywhere where I don't have to cook it or clean up after it! Awesome!

8. I love to read. I love to escape into a book and forget about how complicated life can be.  Right now I am reading The Girl Who Played With Fire and have heard that this series is really awesome. So far, so good.

9. I love my garden!! Everyone that reads my blog knows that! My garden is my passion. I hate digging in the dirt and I hate getting dirty, but I sure do love the end results!!

Day 8 Eight Fears

Hello!  Welcome to day 8 of our 10 Day You Challenge.  Let's talk about fears! Ugh!! My first fear is every mothers fear....please, please, please don't let anything bad happen to my baby boys!  Actually this could take up all eight fears if you think about it. I'm afraid they'll get into an accident or get hurt. I'm (especially) afraid that they will be bullied and I won't know how to handle it. I'm afraid they won't have the confidence to be successful in school and that I will fail them somehow. I'm especially afraid of failing them!!!  I just want them to feel secure and happy in their world.

I'm afraid of my illness rubbing off on my children. I'm afraid one of them will one day suffer with depression the way that I do. I'm afraid of heredity!  I'm afraid that one day my babies will need therapy and we'll say bad things about me as their mother.  Ugh! I think this is my biggest fear. All I want is for my children to grow up and say that they had a good mother, not a crazy mother. But we all know that's probably not going to happen! LOL.

Let's move on from my babies, shall we??  I'm not afraid of the usual things. I'm not afraid of heights, spiders, snakes, etc. I do absolutely HATE earwigs! I'm not a bug person AT ALL!!  My hubby is afraid of birds flying at him but that doesn't bother me. I'm not afraid of flying or roller coasters! I don't have these usual fears. I'm not afraid of thunder or lightening; I love both! 

I'm afraid of losing another person close to me. I cling to my friends now like never before. I'm afraid of funerals!! I'm afraid of hospitals! I'm sick of visiting people in them and I'm sick of visiting them myself!

I love horror movies and I'm not afraid of much when I'm watching them. The thing that scares me the most is ghosts! I'm convinced we have a ghost living in our basement and that little fu**er scares me all the time!  He has a thing about my laundry room and I am afraid of being down there by myself alone for too long! 

Ok, I think that's more than eight, but you get the picture!  I don't really have any crazy phobias, just a little OCD! LoL.

What about you? What are you afraid of?

Day 7 Seven Wants

Holy Crap, I missed a day!! I know, I know. Punishable by flogging! I have a really great excuse though. Wanna hear it???

On December 6th, 2009 a wonderful woman named Donna Jones was tragically lost to us, stolen by her abusive husband.  In her memory, a group of her friends, family and co workers got together and had a wee fundraiser in her honor. Last night was the big night. We all gathered at Absolute Comedy and had a wonderful evening of laughter, memories and of course, money!!!  I am so proud of the woman (and a few hubbys) who pulled together and organized this wonderful event. And the greatest news? We raised $6089!!! All the proceeds are being donated to Nelson House, a woman's shelter here in Ottawa. I'm welling up with happy tears at how well our 1st fundraising event went and hope & pray we can do it all again next year!

So, while we're on such a happy topic, I thought we'd continue on with our YOU challenge.

1.  In keeping with the above blessing, I want us to celebrate our wonderful contribution last night to Nelson House. I want each and every person who donated money to this great cause to have a sense of peace and happiness today!  And although losing Donna has been extremely hard, I hope that we can all take a bit of comfort knowing we are now helping dozens of other women get out before it's too late.

2.  I want a Coach purse!!! LOL

3.  I want my children to know love and happiness all thier lives. It doesn't have to be perfect, but I want them to know right from wrong, love from sadness and to realize how special they are to me!

4.  I want to lose some freakin' weight!!!  At my heaviest, I now weigh 215lbs!! And although I think I make chubby look cute, I'm sick of it!!! I want/need the strength to get up off my chubby butt and do the things that are necessary. To make the positive changes I need to make! I want to exercise more!!! I want to go to the gym (with my friend Shelley) and kick some serious butt!!!

5.  I want (please, please, please) to go at least one full year without attending another funeral. I've been to like 12 funerals in the last 3.5years and I'm kinda getting tired of wearing all this black, shedding all these tears and greiving all this loss!  Just one year!!! 

6.  I want all new towels! I know it's simple, but if I had to think of one brand new thing I want for this house right away, it would be new towels! Fresh smelling, clean, PINK towels! Ok, ok, they don't have to be pink. But NEW, definitely new!!

7.  I want world peace. Is that too damn much to ask. Actually what I really want is for every person to treat others the way they want to be treated.  I want every country to take care of itself with respect and love for everyone. Cheese and sprinkles, can we get some sanity around here!

(that's right, I said Cheese and sprinkles!!)



Day 6 Six Places

The first place is definitely my garden at home. But you knew that already, didn't you?? LOL.

This is Pink Lake at Gatineau Park. It is so beautiful here!

Or how about XelHa, in the Mayan Riviera? Beautiful as well.

Actually, everywhere in Mexico is wonderful. This is Los Cabos. It's where we went on our honeymoon.

But I like to stay around home, too. HOw about the Tulip Festival in Ottawa?

Or just hanging out in Barrhaven is always awesome, too!!! I love home!

Day 5

Good Evening!! How was your day today?? Today I went golfing with hubby. This was my 2nd time golfing and I did alright.  I don't mind doing 9 holes, but I find 18 to be just too many! But I had fun nonetheless.

Well, we're on day 5, five foods! As you've learnt in the past, Lebanese food is my favourite. If I had to pick on thing I loved the most, it would have to be hummus and pita. Delicious and such a good snack!

Whenever I go to a new restaurant, I usually order a club sandwich, especially in the summer time. It's just so delicious!

For dessert, I would like an Apple Blossom. It's like warm apple pie! Just put a drop of vanilla ice cream on top and it's golden!

And of course, let's not forget a drink. I have a 'thing' for martini's lately. Mmmmmmmmm

Lately, my favourite summer time food is definitely pasta salad. I never used to like pasta salad but it has definitely grown on me lately!!

That's it for today, my friends!! Quick and easy!!! What are some of your favourite foods??

Day 4 Four Books

 Four Books?? Easy Peasy!!!

This is the book I am reading right now. I am a huge Dan Brown fan and love every book he's written. I enjoy reading them and then looking up online all the cool places that the characters go to. I even enjoy the movies made out of his books and can't wait for Lost Symbol to come out! I love Washington!!!

This is the book I plan to read when I'm finished the Lost Symbol. I read the first one last month.

These books were absolutely fabulous and rank up there with some of my favourites. I think the third one was my favourite...I think.....

And this is my favourite book of all time.

I could go on and on about books. I love to read and I will read just about anything. I am stopping by the library later on today in fact, to pick up a book I have been waiting for by Mark Vonnegut.  I'm going to be busy reading for the next few weeks!!

OOoooh, and while you're here, have a look at some more garden pictures. You know you never get tired of looking at my garden!! This first pic is of the garden in the front yard followed by some individuals from the front garden.

This is my large hibiscus in the back garden! Super huge!

Day 3 Three Films

Hi Again!!! Welcome back to the 10 Day You Challenge!

Today is Day 3.  Here is 3 movies that I watched in the last week. We watch a lot of movies so it was hard to pick just 3!!!

We just watched this one last night. It was such a cute love story, and yet very interesting and exciting at the same time.

This is what I am watching RIGHT NOW with the boys and they are laughing their butts off!! Such a cute movie.

Kirk and I watched The Losers just last week and I thought it was pretty funny. Of course, the plot was greatly enhanced by the addition of Jeffrey Dean Morgan!!!!



Day 2 is Two songs....

Song number one is Mr Saxobeat by Alexandra Stan. Every single time this song comes on the radio I can't help but dance along!!

This next song kinda reminds me of my life sometimes. It's not always easy and I often feel I'm picking up the pieces of my life over and over again.

the 10 Day You Challenge

I was reading thru some blogs and ran across Dawns' blog called the Momologues.  She's doing this adorable challenge and I thought I'd steal it. Check it out...

Here is ONE PICTURE

I keep telling myself (and everyone) that I am going to grow my hair out. Then it starts to get longer and I quickly get annoyed with it. This is me after yet another hair cut that I swore I wouldn't get!