Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Nothing Changes

Hello, my little friends. Oh, I know how long it has been. Trust me, I know!!!!  I have been away because I thought you might be bored with my bitching. Are you bored! I know I am tired of listening to myself complain!

Things are the same, yet different.  I am taking different meds, yet the result is exactly the same. I feel exactly the same. SHIT. That's is what I say!! Shit is how I feel!!

Today I find myself saddend by the most ridiculous thing. Christmas is driving me mad. The kids are on holidays and I am at home alone with them for a  week....Yikes!!! I am watching the World Junior Hockey Championship.   Canada vs. the Cze's. It's  a great game! But it is reminding me of an incident. Years ago, maybe ten. I was attending the prospects camp game for the Sens. I met a man named Martin Havlat. Got my picture taken with him. Next to him was a man named Karel Rachunek. Cute!!! He signed my playoff sheet; signed it with a heart. He was adorable!!!!!!! In 2011, Karel Rachunel would die in a horrible plane crash.  And now I can't help but think of him, how young he was, how he didn't deserve to die so young. Isn't that a silly thing to be thinking 'bout this time of year!!

Oh man! Life is the same shit, different pile! I am on different meds but nothing has changed. I'm still counting meds and thinking about electronics in the bathtub. Oh boy!

Miss me, have you?